Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Halle Berry - That New Ish

Hot on the heels of 'The Stanky Legg' is new song (and dance) by Hurricane Chris 'She Fine (Halle Berry)'. I'm not sure how I feel about this. Have a listen.

Monday, March 30, 2009

'The Bachelor' for Fat People, hooray!

The producers of 'The Bachelor' are coming out with a reality show for "the rest of us". And yes, I applied for this show. LOL. Read the full story.

All I want to know is, why the big girls got to be competing for a Kevin James type? I want a Mark Wahlberg or Morris Chestnut type thank you.

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Kids Choice Awards

The Kids Choice Awards is tonight on Nickelodeon. I will be glancing at it as my #8 Baby's Father, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson is hosting. Mmmmmmm.

Sham Oh Wow


I know you've seen those annoying Sham Wow commercials with that annoying man talking about some big dumb towel. Well, now Mr. Sham Wow himself is making headlines. Vince Schlomi aka Sham Wow guy was arrested for beating up a prostitute after she bit down on his tongue and wouldn't let go. LOL LOL LOL. Apparently he was on Meth at the time. All I have to say is Sham WOW. The Smoking gun has the full story. Yes, that's his mugshot above. HAM for sure.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Where The Wild Things Be At And What Not

Y'all know you remember the book Where The Wild Things Are from when you were little. Well, as with everything these days it is now a movie! Hooray! It hits theaters in October. Peep the trailer.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Divorce me? I'll Beat you

Donkey of the Day:

This chick is straight up gangsta. Wow. Her husband didn't want to talk through their problems, so what does she do? Beat his a**. Handcuffs, bites, guitar smashing's and more. You can't make this stuff up folks. Full Story

Monday, March 23, 2009

OMFG....Ciara and Justin Timberlake do the damn thing!

I can't even take all the sexiness in this video. Why can't I be licking on Justin? LOL. SOOOOOO HOT, I need a cigarette and I don't even smoke. Swirlness at its best! Wow, I'm speechless. Check it out. What you think?

Well the booty people at BMG removed the video from Youtube, so watch it over at Mr. JT's website. Video

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Asher Roth: The New Hot Jawn

Asher Roth is a new up-and-coming rap artist. He's a cutie and he's from Morrisville, PA. We used to play Morrisville in sports in high school lol. 2-1-5 is in da building! Philly all day HOLLA!! Early, na mean. Shout out to all my Philly peeps. Sorry, now that I've gotten my Philly love out the way check out Asher.

Asher Roth at the Boulder Theater from Alex King & Mito Media on Vimeo.

Please Burn This Song

WHY!!!???????? Why is this horrible song 'Right Round' by HoRida, I mean FloRida, in the top 5 songs???? Damn these teeny boppers. First of damn all, the original song 'You Spin Me Round' by Dead or Alive is an all time classic. That is my hot joint. How dare FloRida even think about sampling it. Secondly, why are people still buying FloRida songs? Thirdly, this song makes my ears bleed. He is a horrific rapper, the chick singing is yelling at me and the sampling is just wrong, all wrong. Y'all really feeling this ish?


That FloRida ish

Jennifer Love Hewitt and her Voodoo Coochie

Jennifer Love Hewitt must have voodoo in her coochie. Otherwise, I don't know why these men go gaga over her, and so quickly. Just a few months ago she called off her engagement with hottie and Pierre Bouvier look-a-like, Ross McCall, and now she is with Jamie Kennedy. WTF? Ok, let's take a look at some of her past relationships.
Carson Daly, Rich Cronin, Jeff Timmons have all spoken about what a crazy chick she is. They've called her controlling and insecure in interviews. Um, ok. If all these dudes are on the same page about her craziness why are men still flocking like flies to her cooch? She reminds me of one of those chicks that always have to have a man, scared to be alone and disappears from her friends when she does have a boo. Now she has Jamie Kennedy shouting to the rooftops about how much he loves her. Its been what, like 2 montsh Jamie? Please sit down, you are making Philly look bad. I give this relationship about 6 more months before he weens himself off the cooch and realizes he's just the rebound and she's just crazy.

Gerard Butler deserves A-list treatment

Normally I am against special treatment for celebs, but I am bias when it comes to my baby's fathers. Case in point, sexy Gerard Butler. He is in Philly aka the best city on earth shooting 'Law Abiding Citizen' with Jamie Foxx until the end of March. He was pissed off by two restaurants this week. Philly.com has the Full Story.

Looks like I only have two weeks left to have a sighting of Gerry. Please tip me off to his whereabouts!! LOL.

Do The Stanky Leg....*sigh*

As much as I hate this ghetto ass song 'The Stanky Leg' I must post this video. For those of you who don't know, The Stanky Leg is the hot new dance in the streets. A mess. Anyways, these three chicks posted their version of the dance on youtube. I really need them to put some clothes on. Why can I see my little cousin in this video? And, I must say the girl in the white leggings is killin' it. She must help me take my booty poppin' to new levels.

New Movie: Year One

My homie Justin posted a hilarious trailer for new movie Year One, starring Jack Black and Michael Cera. Check it out.

Year One

Top 5 TV Shows You Need To Be Watching

Ok, these are the BEST shows on TV. I don't care what no body says LOL. If you haven't checked these shows out then you best get to watching. Let me know what you think.

  1. America's Next Top Model - even though this show has run its course and needs to be done I still love watching. Wed, 8p, CW
  2. Tough Love - OMG, I heart this show. The one girl that looks like a stripper is annoying and delusional but so entertaining and the chick that looks like she's 40 is full of drama and hate. Gotta love it. Even through all its HAMs I learn about what men think and how to date the right way from cocky but cute host, Steve . Sun, 10p, Vh1
  3. Fringe - I am highly upset American Idol has cut into my show, but new episodes will be back in April. Anyways, Fringe is the best show on television hands down. Drama, suspense, sci-fi, romance, comedy and grossness...everything you could ask for in a show. And, dare I say Pacey, I mean Joshua Jackson looks hot. Tues, 9p, FOX.
  4. Masterminds - What's more interesting than watching how criminals did their dirty work and got away with it? Nothing. Weekends, whenevs you catch it, TruTv.
  5. Family Guy - Ok I lied, Fringe isn't the best show on tv, Family Guy is. Seth Macfarlane is the genius and hottie behind this hilarious show. I could literally watch it all day long. Stewie is the best thing since sliced bread. Sun, 9p, FOX.
*Honorable Mentions*
  • Repo - watch the repo man take cars from real people. Violence ensues, which means great tv. Mon, 9p, TruTv.
  • Lie to Me - He knows your lieing just by looking at you. Gotta love it. Wed, 9p, FOX.
Enjoy this classic Family Guy clip:

Justin Timberlake does Oprah

oprah fb

That's all I needed to see. Make sure you watch Oprah on Friday! YAY!

Friday, March 20, 2009

John Cena does Kimmel

John Cena is in my top 5 baby's fathers and he was looking fine and sexy on Jimmy Kimmel. Mmmm...Enjoy!

NJ Transit Story of the Day

I swear 'for God I was mean muggin' at the bus terminal today. Almost everyday I'm telling my friend my NJ transit bus stories. She insisted that I blog about them.

Why this man standing behind me in the never ending bus line was:
#1 All up in my personal space. A HUGE no-no. So I had to give him the eye.
#2 Had the worst mucused up cough, hack thing going on that i've ever heard. I literally wanted to throw up in my mouth every time he did it. Seriously, I was 2 seconds from telling him to back the f*ck up. So I had to give him the eye, several times. And my friends know that I couldn't lie if I wanted to because whatever I'm thinking is written ALL over my face. I am queen of the facial expressions.

Then I almost cussed a dude out when the line finally got to the bus area because he tried to scoot and dip in front of me in line.

And lastly, who was smelling like weed on the bus??? I mean really. Its rush hour. Put that where? Back there.

People are rude. People get on my nerves. People need to leave me alone at the damn bus terminal or you will either get cussed out, written about or both.

I Can't Even Take All This Ghettoness

Keyshia Cole's sister, Neffe, is just the biggest HAM (hot ass mess) ever! I can't even take it. So she is pregs AGAIN, with here 7th child. The blogs have been calling her the Black OctoMom. Below is her attempt at a response to all those "haters" out there. Are you freaking kiddin me???? Black people, Obama is in the White House...we must do better...SMH.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Love & Sex & Magic


Much to my delight, the video for Ciara and Justin Timberlake's new song, Love, Sex & Magic, debuts on Monday! YAY! What needs to happen in order for this video to be amazing?

  • Justin must look HOT!
  • Ciara must kill it with the dance moves
  • Justin must kill it with the dance moves
  • Ciara's hair must be fly so I can copy it
  • Justin must look EXTRA HOT!
  • And lastly, Justin must look HOT!
Rest assure I shall be blogging about the outcome on Monday. I must say that the song is OK at best. Maybe it will grow on me? But, I doubt it. Ciara needs to come harder than this ish and that Never Ever ish. Um, hello, Ciara!!! Beyonce is the queen. Rihanna was the princess. If you want to come close to taking RiRi's spot, this is NOT the way to do it. I never ever want to hear this ish again.

Side note: I am sooooo loving the hot swirl pic of the two of them. Jessica who? Mmmhhmm.

Mark Wahlberg and his Super Spermies

Much to my dismay, the sexiest man in the universe AKA Mark Wahlberg has gotten his baby's mom pregs AGAIN, for the 2nd time in a less than a year, according to the NY Daily News. This will be their 4th child. Their youngest is 6 months old. WTF? I don't understand what is up with these chicks (*cough* Rhea, Nicole Richie) letting these dudes knock them up a million times and those motherfathers ain't put no ring on it. What about "If you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it" don't you understand? Anywho, congrats and what not. And yes, I would still push out Mark's babies...and Donnie's for that matter. Holla at me.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Finally! Plus Sizes at Forever21

Thank you Jesus! Finally, us fabulous big girls can get trendy affordable clothes! Forever21 is launching a plus size line on May 1st called Faith 21. I am so excited. I hope it fits right. Forever21 has the cutest clothes and I've always wished they had my size. I hope other retailers follow suit. Lane Bryant's selection these days SUCKS! Target's plus-size section is a slap in the face (at best). A couple of measley racks of boring basics *yawn*. Torrid and online stores are pretty much all us Big-girl-nistas have. Read the full Faith21 article here.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Oh Diddy

As much as I can't stand sweet ass Diddy, I follow him on twitter because of updates like this:

diddy twit

I must say I love and use the phrase "no bitchassness". Don't ask me what he's talking about. And what's up with the throwback pic? Really Diddy?

Donkeys of the Day

I came across this video that I have named "The most ghetto video of all time" on my fav blog Dlisted. WHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY Black people, WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?

Monday, March 16, 2009

'The Watchmen' ...my review

I left the theater this weekend SMH and saying WTF. 'The Watchmen' was, well...interesting.

What I loved about it:
  • Lots o' peen
  • Cool special effects
  • Lots o' peen
  • Cool special effects
  • Lots o' peen
What I hated about it:
  • Everything else
It was too long, too confusing and just a mess. Very disappointing. Not what I expected at all. Bring on Iron Man 2, Mickey Rourke and all.

Andy Samberg Hosting Duties

My baby's father #34 AKA Andy Samberg, will be hosting this year's MTV Movie Awards. YAY! I can't wait to see him host. I hope he brings Mr. JT along for a sketch.

Check out the oh-so-classic Andy Samberg video - "D*ck in a Box" featuring Justin Timberlake.

John Cena covers Men's Fitness...MMMMM

john cena fitness

John Cena is looking sexy as all hell on the cover of Men's Fitness. It went on sale today and I will be buying mine tomorrow! Even if you aren't a wrestling fan (i heart wrestling) you can bask in the sexiness that is John Felix Anthony Cena, yeaaa baby!

Men's Fitness

Beyonce does Vogue

beyonce vogue 09

Wow! Two Black women on the cover of Vogue in two months! YAY! Beyonce is looking fab on the April issue of Vogue. I shall be coppin' mine. HOLLA!

Mel Gibson jumpin' off?

The folks over at MediaTakeOut.com have a pic of Mel Gibson frolicking on the beach with his allegedly mistress. Looks very suspect to me. These men, I just don't get it. SUCH DOGS!!!!!!


Thursday, March 12, 2009

Peyton said Bump Y'all, I got things to do

So when the government of the whole state of Alabama decides to shut down on your behalf to honor you, your brother and father's accomplishments, they even name the day after you, what do you do? Why, go play golf with Tiger Woods, duh. NFL star Peyton Manning decided he did not need to attend Manning Day, instead he felt as though he needed to play golf with Mr. Woods. Oh Peyton, I still love you. Full Story


Yes, Brit's new video has arrived. 'If You Seek Amy' premiered today. It's ok. But, I love the song. I don't understand all the controversy. Pull the stick out of your booty cheeks and get over it. Its not for kids, so don't let your kids listen to it. Honestly, there's worst music your kids could here. I mean really. What do you think?

Official Video

Iron Man 2: OH HELL NAW

WTF? Why they gotta go and ruin 'Iron Man'. The first Iron Man was just fine. In fact it was just great. Now muthafathers want to be all up in the koolaid mixing up ish. WHY IN GOD's NAME is Mickey "I can't look at his face for 2 hrs" Rourke and Scarlett "I'm a whore" Johansson have to be in the movie???? Hopefully Mickey will have a mask on and Scarlett will be some ho in the back. UGH, Please Marvel, don't ruin this franchise.

Reading is fundamental

Bernie Made-Off With Y'all Money

So sad. And he is in jail. Hooray! He'll be tossing salads in no time!

New swirl movie: 'I Love You Man'

There's a new swirl movie out on March 20 starring cutie pie Paul Rudd. 'I Love You Man' stars Jason Segel, Paul Rudd, Andy "I love you" Sanmberg and Rashida Jones. Rashida and Paul are together in the movie, hence the swirl. Oh yes, for those of you that don't know Rashida - you may know her from 'The Office' - is Quincy Jones' daughter. Yup, she 1/2 black which in America means, she Black. So yay to the swirlation. Peep the trailer below.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

It Saddens Me To Report...

That Justin Timberlake is marrying dry, whack ass Jessica Biel in Italy this summer (tears). Celebuzz is reporting this tragic information. Let us pray:
Lord, please let Justin come to his senses before its too late.
He know he wants to marry a sista, or Lena (hey girl!). Please
let him see the error of his ways. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen.
Read more sadness here.

Race To Dwayne Johnson

I know what I'll be doing this weekend. Racing my behind to the nearest theater to see Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson 'Race to Witch Mountain'. MMMMM...he can race down my mountain anytime. Don't ask me what the movie is about cuz I don't know and I don't care. The movie can be on mute for all I care. Let us take a moment to view the sexiness that is Dwayne.

DJ played "The Rock" Obama on SNL last Saturday.

Can't go wrong in a wife beater, unless you're Chris Brown
the rock

This Is Why You Don't Cheat

Men take heed. You wanna cheat on your girl, especially a sista, you just might get stabbed up. I'm not saying its right, but I understand. I bet Geno Hayes from the Tampa Bay Bucaneers has learned his lesson. Full story

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

America's Next Top Model Premiere


Tonight was the premiere of America's Next Top Skinny B*tch + 1 thick chick. As always Ms. Jay was hilarious and fabulous and Tyra's lace fronts were amazing. Now, on to the girls. My favorites are Jessica and Aminat. They are by far the prettiest chicks of this cycle. The plus size chick of course was NOT plus size. The chick has abs!!! How you got abs and you plus size? Please stop the madness. The chick with the big ass eyes is crazy and needs to go. And for the b*tch that's gots to go award...Sandra. I would have socked that chick in her face the first night. I hate greazy chicks, talking reckless and acting like they the ish. Sit down. She not even cute.

On another note, Tyra, its time to retire ANTM. Its been 12 seasons, i'm over it.

John Edwards...You ARE The Father

Well, well, well. In the words of my grandma "it'll all come out in the washing machine". Looks like John Edwards is that hoe's baby daddy after all, according to The National Enquirer. Come on John, I thought you was better than that. Going up in that chick raw dog, not cute.
Full Story

It's About To Be A Girlfight...REMIX

Keri "I only had 1 good song" Hilson, is coming at Beyonce and Ciara's necks in her remix for "Turning Me On". Um, I don't care what Ciara and Beyonce did to you behind the scenes, Keri please LOOK DOWN and SIT DOWN. Listen.


Tuesday, March 3, 2009

New Swirl Movie

I love my Black girl swirl movies! If you don't know what I mean, I mean movies that show Black Women and White men as romantic leads in movies. Sanaa Lathan is at it again, this time with Matthew Broderick in the new movie 'Wonderful World'. Coming soon! Check out the trailer. I know I can't wait...Codi I see you snickering.


Where's My Nuggets B*tch...Donkey of the Day

Oh my wow. So this donkey is so distraught that McDonald's don't have no nuggets that the b*tch calls 9-1-1. LMFAO. Really? And judging by her name and this scenario, chick had to be Black. You can even listen to this HAM's (hot ass mess) 9-1-1 call. Full Story

JT on Jimmy Fallon's debut

I like Jimmy and all, but eh, i'm over it. Now Justin Timberlake on the otherhand totally needs his own show, mmmm.

Monday, March 2, 2009

OMG! JT to be on Jimmy Fallon tonight!

Jimmy Fallon takes over late night tonight and his first guest is none other than my #1 baby's father, Justin Timberlake. I'll be staying up late tonight!

NBC, 11:35pm ET

For your viewing pleasure...

Seth Macfarlane Continues to be a Genius

Check out a hilarious cartoon short from the genius that is Seth MacFarlane (for those of you who don't know he created 'Family Guy').

Random Weird News

Next time your cat goes missing, make sure you check the mattress. Zootoo

Motorcycle dudes get the beating down at a Tattoo convention. *you can't make this stuff up* philly.com

Who said putting engagement rings in food was a good idea? AOL

Who the poop would pay $500 to see Britney lip-synch? Popeater

Pete Wentz is a crackhead. Socialite Life

Finally, Young Black & Fab Reality TV

It's about dayum time there's a reality show about young, successful, educated Black people on TV. If I see one more display of ignorance at its best on VH1, BET, etc. I think I'll scream. Barack is in the White House people! We must do better. Anywho, Harlem Heights debuts tonight on BET at 10pm and I can't wait. It follows 8 young professionals doing the damn thing and being fabulous in Harlem. Its a black, hopefully non-annoying, version of The Hills. Make sure you watch, and let me know your thoughts.

View the trailer.

In more donkey Crihanna news...

According to MediaTakeOut.com, Rihanna is going to testify in favor of Chris Brown and Chris will be accepting a plea deal. I'm so over both of them. Honestly, I hope Rihanna wakes up and Chris sits down. Read the full story over at MTO.