Donkey of the Day: RIHANNA

WTF? Are you serious? Chrianna is back together? Well, Wendy Williams always says, "A donkey gonna do what a donkey gonna do". Let a man beat on me and see what happens. He'll be pulling back nubs, then my peeps will beat his a$$ and I'm DEFINITELY leaving his punk a$$. Oh Rihanna, I didn't think you were a donkey, but now I see that you are. Apparently the two have been parlaying up in one of Diddy's houses. *Sigh* People has the full story.

'The Simpsons' is that hot ish

If you're a Simpsons fanatic like myself then you are happy that the show has just been crowned the longest running primetime series EVER! In the words of Homer: WooHoo! Now, I am happy they got the fantastic honor and were renewed for 2 more seasons, however the last like 5 seasons of 'The Simpsons' has sucked major booty cheeks. They totally need to shut it down. You can not compete with the likes of 'Family Guy' AKA the funniest show on TV. These last 2 seasons better be the shiznit. Go out on top Simpsons. Enlist the help of Seth MacFarlane to keep your jokes fresh and so clean.

Check out this funny clip from this season of Homer trying to vote for Obama. Very funny.

Gisele & Tom Fooled Y'all

Wow, standing ovation for Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen. They really fooled the media. I'm amazed they slid this one by the paparazzi. Kudos! In case you haven't heard NFL star Tom Brady married supermodel Gisele Thursday night. Who gets married on a Thursday? Oh that's right rich folk don't work. Must be nice. I'm sure official pics will surface soon.

This is NOT how you become relevant... F-A-B-O-L-O-U-S

Oh Fabolous. Stashing 500 lbs of marijuana on your bus (allegedly) is so not fabulous. I really don't even know what to say about this ish. The boombox sums it all up for me. read

Public Outcry Over OJ

Not that OJ. Regular OJ as in orange juice. Maybe you've noticed good ol' Tropicana is looking different these days. They recently changed their packaging to a sleeker, updated look. I did a double take the first time I saw it, but I like the new design. I find it very chic. Sadly, not everyone is as fabulous as me and they don't appreciate good design. The public flooded Tropicana's people with complaints about the new packaging. So much so that Tropicana is changing its OJ cartons back to the original design. Many consumers find the new design to be 'generic' looking.

Ok, so we're in a freaking recession people. Who gives a rats left boob what the dag on packaging looks like. You have nothing better to do than to complain about new sleek packaging? The orange juice still tastes the same. I mean seriously, drink the dayum orange juice and STFU. It's soooooo not that serious. And a big booo to Tropicana for giving in to stupid nonsense. I have a feeling the complainers came from Red states. Sounds like something they would do.

I'm So Drunk I Think I'll Pass Out At This Police Station

Wow, you have to be really drunk to pass out in your truck in front of the police station. Apparently Washington State quarterback, Marshall Lobbestael, was just that drunk. Needless to say cops found his donkey behind and arrested him. All I have to say is Hee Haw.
Read the rest

Eye Candy of the Day

Today's eye candy comes via sexy ex-wrestler now actor Dwayne Johnson AKA The Rock. His skin just looks so smooth and supple and that tattoo is sexy as all hell. Emjoy!

Megan Fox & BAG are no more

I don't know whether to be happy or not. I've loved Brian Austin Green AKA BAG since 90210. He's still sexy in my book, but I always felt like Megan Fox was too talented and too pretty for him. And, I was mad she stole my man. But, if the rumors are true that he is a jealous washed up a-hole then good for Megan for leaving his behind and I don't want to fantasize about him. But, if the rumors aren't true and he is as fabulous as he is in my head, then Megan is a donkey and BAG needs to roll on over to me. Either way, you can read all the deets over at US Weekly

I Shoulda Cussed You Out

WHY! I am sick and tired of being subjected to ignorant people talking loudly on their cell phones about all kinds of TMI nonsense when me and other hard working people are trying to relax IN SILENCE on the bus. Why do people think other people give a dayum about they ghetto ass conversations? I mean really. I don't care that your daughter didn't want to finish her homework so you grounded her. I don't need to know that you need to ask your doctor for more herpes cream. And I damn sure don't want to hear you fighting with your boyfriend about why his trifling behind didn't come home last night (ok, well maybe that conversation was a little interesting). And yes, the conversations I just noted, I've heard them all on the bus ride to work. None of this ish is sooo important that you can't wait 10 minutes until you get off at your stop to talk to that person about. I should of cussed out the chick sitting behind me today, but I didn't feel like it. But, next time me or someone else just may cuss your ass out. All I'm saying is PLEASE BE COURTEOUS!

Donkey of the Day

Let the chuuch say "HeeHaw" to rapper Rick Ross and his beard.

This fool thinks he can outsell 50 when his next album drops? Really though? Yes, 50 has fallen off a little bit, but not that dayum much. Big Ricky SIT DOWN. 50 can sell more records than you even if his next single was a remake of Ol' McDonald. Negro please. Watch his donkeydom over on ThisIs50.com.

Yup, I'm Telling You I Want It

Cuz it's 2 in the morning...boy, what you wanna do? HEYYYYY!
Holla at me Donnie.
Anyways, for those of you who are NKOTB fans, like myself, their 3rd single off of their album The Block was released today. I enjoy it very much. Its cute. The guys look HOT as usual and I heart this song.

Eye Candy of the Day

Today's eye candy is my favorite piece of vanilla ice cream in the world...Channing Tatum


mmmmm...damn that jenna, hussie stole my husband

Dayum You Fertile

Yes, I know this isn't a review, but occasionally I will put my celebrity news items in here as well. Deal with it.

Nicole Richie is preggers again. Congrats! When is Joel gonna put a ring on it? I'm just saying. Why buy the cow...

Read about it over at People.com

Madea Goes to Jail

First, I am so proud that Madea was #1 at the box office this weekend grossing an amazing $41 Million. Thank you for not bootlegging (as much). Second, let me say I looooove Tyler Perry. I love everything he stands for and I've loved all his plays and movies. Did I enjoy Madea Goes to Jail? Yes. Did I laugh? Yes. Did I enjoy the message? Yes. Could it have been much, much better? Yes. I found it to be too cliche. Too much like the rest of his movies and I didn't find most of the jokes funny. But, the jokes I did laugh at had me dying. I'm not saying it was bad, I'm just saying it wasn't that good. I expected more from Mr. Perry. By all means please go see it, especially if you're a Tyler Perry fan, because if nothing else it will move you. I had a few "God is talking to me" moments, which made up for the "already done before" jokes. And if you do see it, let me know your thoughts?


Side note: Tyler you have made millions of dollars. Don't you think its time to upgrade the cinematography so that it doesn't look like its shot by Tyrone and dem from the block? I'm just saying.

Dunkin Donuts' new waffle breakfast sandwich

Soooo the new Dunkin Donuts waffle breakfast sandwich sounds so fat and good. The commercial makes me drool with anticipation. So, I caved in a went to get one for breakfast the other day. I was uberly excited, that is until I saw the sandwich maker pull out a plastic bag with waffles in it and put 2 waffles in the taoster thingy. WTF? I know that plastic casing anywhere. That's a freaking Eggo! You mean to tell me I am breaking my diet for some damn eggos I could have toasted myself and some fake eggs and burnt bacon? OH HELL NO! Needless to say, unless you really just gotta have this sandwich, make your own damn waffle-ich.

Oscars 2009 Arrivals

Ok, so I'm sitting here watching E! for the only part of the Oscars that I really care about which is the arrivals. Ugh, where do I begin.

Let's start with who actually looked nice first:

• Alicia Keys - AMAZING! Her hair, make-up, tan, dress = Flawless
• Queen Latifah - representing the big girls right as always
• Anne Hathaway - the most amazing dress I've ever seen in my life
• Angelina Jolie - Classic. Chic.
  
• Kate Winslet - I love me some 1-shoulder dresses
• Taraji P. Henson - WORK IT GIRL!!! Her weave game has come a loooooong way. Do the damn thing girl.
• Robert Downey, Jr. - He looks hot! I like him clean shaven.
• Sarah Jessica Parker - looooove the hair, the dress is a little too big, but its aight. (Side note: why was Matthew Broderick mean muggin'? Don't hate cuz no one is checking for you Ferris.)
• Vanessa Hudgens & Zac Efron - Very nice.
• Miley Cyrus - I don't know why but I love this dress. Bling bling! But, her hair is boring, blah.
  

Now for who needs to sit the hell down:

• MICKEY "I look like I smell" ROURKE - OH MY GOD...whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! and that's all I have to say
• Beyonce - now I love Beyonce, but that dress smells of a Tina Knowles creation. That dress is doing too much! However, I must say I am loving the whole "less is more" look going on with her hair and make-up.
• Ryan Seacrest & Alien woman - Normally I love me some Ryan BUT he acted like an intern on the carpet for the first time. Not a good look. And Alien woman acted like a 12-year-old girl screaming at every Brangelina sighting...b*tch please SIT DOWN.
• Jessica Biel - Ughhhhh...I need Justin Timberlake to upgrade this chick. Why does her hair look like she just ran out of Hurricane Katrina. You are so not fly enough for Mr. JT.